Allergies, Horseface, and Seattle Drivers

Spring showed up a bit early in Seattle, and my allergies are paying the price. I'm going to take Benadryl shortly. But on a completely different note, I cannot stand Julia Roberts. My sources tell me she's a bitch in real life. It's not like I want this to be true, but I must listen to my sources—they never lie and are never wrong. However, "Something to Talk About" is on AMC. I'm loving it. Dare I say, loves it?

My eyes hurt from allergies!

But let me tell you what really taps my ass: Seattle drivers. Going slow. Putting their right blinkers on and turning the corner at .5 mile an hour. I go crazy. My blood pressure races. And what do most people tell me? "Calm down," "It's because you're from Boston," "What's the big deal?" I'll tell you what the big deal is, punks.

I have fucking places to go. I need to get somewhere. So what if I am in a rush? Drive down Greenwood Avenue at more than 20 miles an hour; if you don't, I'm going to beep at you. I'm going to lay on my horn and hope you get confused and feel bad about yourself. You should panic at the wheel if in my way. And unless you are completely oblivious, then you are deliberately trying to hurt my feelings and ruin my day by driving slowly. Move to the right-hand lane.

Sometimes my road rage gets out of control, which ends in embarrassment for me and whoever else might be in the car. (Things used to be a lot worse with my rage—I once bit the wheel of my dad's truck because I took a wrong turn on my way to Connecticut from Massachusetts.) Now a pumping of the fists and over exaggerated mouthing of swear words suffices. The middle finger, too.

My question is: Why is no one else in a rush in Seattle? Does traffic flow like this elsewhere? Of course. Is it acceptable? Not at all, mister. Not at all.

Leo Is Back

Tonight I saw "Shutter Island." I'll skip the cast and crew—you all have heard the Hollywood hoopla at this point. Let me say as a girl that grew up just a few years behind Leonardo DiCaprio, watching him and loving him, sticking by him through all his supermodels: He never left us. For all of you (and myself) that thought we lost Leo after "Romeo and Juliet," when he gay-ed himself beyond belief in "Titanic" by yelling that he was a king, you must see this movie. He is a sensitive cry-baby. No male actor cries better than Leonardo.

Aside from D-Cap, I enjoyed the rest of the movie. I wish, however, that I'd known that "Shutter Island" is a book before seeing the film. But it did provide enough padding and depth that I felt connected to the characters and setting after watching the flick for only a short while. The plot is there off the bat, so I won't cover it in this post.

Recommendation: Netflix—but at the top of the list

Shakin' the Day Away

As most people know (because I posted several videos of it on Facebook), I recently purchased the Shake Weight. Months ago I saw the infomercial and decided I needed this product; it was the first item I've ever bought from a TV ad. I wasn't even deterred by the hand job jokes that inevitably come (no pun intended) with this thing.

I've had the Shake Weight for three days now, and I love it. Standing up or sitting down, you can shake your fat in any situation. Working from home, I especially appreciate my "shakie." Not only is it effective—all the muscles in the upper body are flexed when you do shake properly—but it is fun, like the pogo balls we used to have.

I highly suggest the Shake Weight, regardless if you want it for fat burning or jerk off purposes. Satisfaction guaranteed.