Tiny Bubbles in the Mind

I proclaim this to be the summer of sparkling wine, champagne flutes, and cava blends. Prosecco, champagne, brut—all kinds, all grapes, all, if chilled to perfection, make every meal and gathering. Not only does the taste of a good bubbly send chills of satisfaction up my spine and down my arms, but the fuzzy, warm feeling that rises to my face and head exceeds any other alcohol buzz I've experienced. Liquor is quicker, but sparkling doesn't waste its time, either.

Last year, maybe a year and a half ago now, I discovered sparkling wine by the glass (bubbly can only be called "champagne" if it is from the Champagne region of France). My selection on a whim ended up suiting my mood so well, better than red wine, beer, or vodka. Needless to say, the first glass turned into the fourth, and I poured myself into bed that night with a splendid blanket wrapped around my now-soggy brain. As if my head was as fizzy as the drink in front of me. Bliss.

The best weddings are the ones that keep the champagne or sparkling wine flowing after the initial toast—if it's that kind of ceremony. But flowing bubbly can be dangerous; if the stuff at hand is good enough, it will go down the throat faster than your morning coffee. The coolness, the refreshing feeling on your tongue, and the carbonation settling in your stomach all culminate to make the first sip wonderful. Push the tongue to the roof of the mouth, and let the bubbles pop and break on the taste buds—there's nothing like it.

I appreciate a nice flute for my sparkling, but if the juice passes my taste test (I don't have a very developed palette), I'll take it in a keg cup. The flute works the best because you can see the bubbles rise up in one long stream to the top, before spreading across the surface like fireworks that burst out of a faint trail of light and smoke.

My find for the week (or perhaps the month), is Chateau St. Michelle's box of four sparkling wines for a total of $33, including tax. Outrageous—in a good way! I visited the winery in Woodinville, Washington, this past Sunday and had a great tasting of four wines for $10—a little steep, I think, but the pours are extremely generous. Go on a fairly empty stomach, and you should have a nice hitch in your giddy-up by the end of the second tasting. When you're done, buy a bottle of wine (or four), some cheese, and crackers to enjoy outside on the grounds. Don't forget your receipt for the tasting when you buy the bottle—you'll get 10 percent off your purchase, plus plastic cups and knives for the goods about to be had. You may also want to bring a blanket in case the tables and chairs are all taken. There is shade o' plenty, so this activity works very well for warm days.

Or find a nice blend in your local grocery store. I've bought lovely bubbling wines starting at $7—not bad for the floating feeling that will follow.

This I Know to Be True?

I lie. I tell "white" lies, make up random myths, and create facts to back up a story I am telling. To capture and maintain the attention of others, win an argument, or just entertain myself, I will fabricate whole pieces of history if need be.

But I truly believe when I am saying these things (like the sun produces both vitamin D and E) that they are true. Never am I able to name my source, yet there remains for every story out of my mouth a distinct memory somewhere in the dusty corners of my mind, blindly reasurring me of what I preach. Never does the thought cross my mind that the people listening to me think I'm stupid, crazy, or both.

Below is a list of things I once "knew" or "know" to be truthful, things I have picked up along the way. I'm not implying the following is completely false—some of this stuff could be true. I just take my word for it.

• There is a lymph node by the elbow, and when one has syphilis, that lymph node swells. That is why some people today grab the elbow when they shake hands with others; in a time when syphilis infected many people, fathers would take a hold of a man's elbow while shaking his hand if he was to court his daughter.
• The sun produces vitamin D and E.
• The body does not digest cheese while asleep.
• LA will no longer be inhabitable in 20 years (the first time I said this was probably 10 years ago).
• Defend yourself against a shark by sticking your hand in its gill.
• The ancient Romans lived very long lives because of the red wine they drank; it preserved their organs.
• Benadryl doesn't affect your liver.
• Women are the largest minority in the United States.
• The battle at Gettysburg started over shoes (check Ken Burns' documentary "The Civil War;" yet some still dispute this oversimplified truth).
• Mad Cow disease can remain dormant in one's system for up to 40 years; because of this, many elderly people who die with Alzheimer's never have autopsies performed on them—their loved ones assume dementia and old age have done the work, when really the culprit could be beef they ate years and years ago.
• The biggest reason men kill is to get back at their wives or girlfriends; therefore the victims are usually children in the family.
• Tequila works as an antiseptic for potential food poisoning caused by shellfish.
• Walt Disney's head is frozen.
• The aluminum in antiperspirant causes breast cancer.
• The body does not digest corn.
• The Three Stooges were the first comedians to publicly make fun of Hitler.

While I cannot vouch for any of these facts and statements (besides the Civil War/shoes bit), I take them to heart. You should, too. Why people doubt me, I have no idea; doesn't the information above sound right? Either way, I'm shooting tequila with Benadryl when I eat prawns, never having children, and grabbing an elbow the next time I meet a man for a friend (I've checked out my boyfriend's, he's clean).

Summer Stories and the Like

For the last several days the weather in Seattle has been, as in most places this time of year, consistent: consistently hot. The heat reaches its zenith here at about 4 p.m. and gradually recedes from there. By sun down, a cool breeze wafts off the water, filling my apartment with ocean scents: salt water, seaweed, and shellfish. The summer weather, when it finally arrives, is always worth the dreary, grey, drizzly wait, and not because you can see every mountain around you and the sky is cloudless; the climate in Seattle around summertime is great because it is totally bearable. Rarely does humidity make an appearance in the afternoon, and some mornings the air hangs thick with a chilly fog for a couple of hours. When the fog burns off, the people are ready for the sun, facing the sky in hopes of chipping away at the vitamin-D deficiencies most residents experience.

Summer is not always pleasant.

I spent the season in New Orleans in 2004. Needless to say, the heat brought me down, completely pulled me down to a level of total sloth energy and mild alcoholism. The window units in my and Brian's apartment hardly worked. Rats climbed on the trees outside, and the whole place always smelled like bacon. But those things are not the point. While New Orleans remains one of my favorite places on earth, I would not go back for a summer unless I lived in a fabulous, sweeping condo on St. Charles or Prytania and I could work from home (or not at all). This sounds spoiled and extravagant, and it is. But as I said, the heat and humidity down there is dangerous.

The heavy, dank, unrelenting weather in New Orleans during the summer months made me crazy, unorganized, frustrated, and crabby, not to mention sticky. I couldn't get my thoughts in order because I couldn't get relief from the elements. Granted, things may be different today; I'm no longer in college, and I'm much more organized in general. However, walking in and out of air conditioning, going from one extreme to another so frequently, I just don't know if I could ever do a summer down south again.

Maybe when I'm much older and my blood has thinned.

The best item I've discovered this summer is at Tully's coffee shops: the espresso milkshake, made with soft serve ice cream, vanilla and chocolate together. Once the caffeine kicks in, the treat doesn't last long.

I bid you good swimming, sunbathing, and cooling off!