Spring showed up a bit early in Seattle, and my allergies are paying the price. I'm going to take Benadryl shortly. But on a completely different note, I cannot stand Julia Roberts. My sources tell me she's a bitch in real life. It's not like I want this to be true, but I must listen to my sources—they never lie and are never wrong. However, "Something to Talk About" is on AMC. I'm loving it. Dare I say, loves it?
My eyes hurt from allergies!
But let me tell you what really taps my ass: Seattle drivers. Going slow. Putting their right blinkers on and turning the corner at .5 mile an hour. I go crazy. My blood pressure races. And what do most people tell me? "Calm down," "It's because you're from Boston," "What's the big deal?" I'll tell you what the big deal is, punks.
I have fucking places to go. I need to get somewhere. So what if I am in a rush? Drive down Greenwood Avenue at more than 20 miles an hour; if you don't, I'm going to beep at you. I'm going to lay on my horn and hope you get confused and feel bad about yourself. You should panic at the wheel if in my way. And unless you are completely oblivious, then you are deliberately trying to hurt my feelings and ruin my day by driving slowly. Move to the right-hand lane.
Sometimes my road rage gets out of control, which ends in embarrassment for me and whoever else might be in the car. (Things used to be a lot worse with my rage—I once bit the wheel of my dad's truck because I took a wrong turn on my way to Connecticut from Massachusetts.) Now a pumping of the fists and over exaggerated mouthing of swear words suffices. The middle finger, too.
My question is: Why is no one else in a rush in Seattle? Does traffic flow like this elsewhere? Of course. Is it acceptable? Not at all, mister. Not at all.
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